


DJ Kills The Greatest Hero Ever

by HorizonTheTransient



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:07:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26031637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HorizonTheTransient/pseuds/HorizonTheTransient
Summary: Donovan Jonathan Kills has superpowers now, and with a name like that, what else could he possibly be but a supervillain?It's a shame nobody else sees it that way.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 40





	1. The First Sally

"It's  _ fine, _ DJ," Samina said.

"My  _ name _ is  _ Donovan," _ Donovan Jonathan Kills ground out, as he slipped his fingers out from underneath the rope, having made sure they weren't too tight. "...Also,  _ in costume _ , my name is Doctor Havoc. At any rate, let me know if the ropes get uncomfortable."

"I have to say, I'm a little surprised you were  _ actually _ a supervillain," Samina said, as he started to pace, glancing all around the warehouse at the robot minions standing guard, between the door and the "hostage."

"Why would I need a hostage if I wasn't a supervillain?" he asked, tilting his head as he looked back at her.

"Well. You  _ did _ put out an ad asking for a girl willing to be tied up and pretend to be taken hostage by a supervillain," Samina said with as much of a shrug as she could muster, being tied to a chair and all.

"...Ah, right, you mentioned you were into theater back in high school," Donovan said, nodding. "Well, unfortunately, tonight is no dress rehearsal. I am, in fact, a real supervillain. I just needed a fake hostage as bait for the heroes, to lure them to the warehouse. They should be here any minute, once the message is sent."

"Why a fake hostage?" Samina asked.

"Pardon?"

"Why not kidnap someone for real and hold them hostage?"

"That's a dick move, isn't it?" Donovan asked. "Disrupting and ruining someone's evening just for my own purposes, let alone the fact I'm likely traumatizing them in the process? I may be a supervillain, but I just want an excuse to have bombastic fights with superheroes and then run away screaming 'I'll get you next time, Gadget!' I'm not here to actually hurt anyone."

"...Fair enough," Samina said with a shrug. "So, are we going to be doing this again, then?"

"Reusing the same hostage again and again would signal that something was up," Donovan mused, rubbing his chin. "I'd hate to put you in the crosshairs like that."

"I don't mean- actually, nevermind, we'll talk about it later."

"Are you su- ooooh, motion sensors are going off," Donovan said. "Alright, it's showtime. Try to look distressed."

"Should I take my hijab off for this, or no?" Samina asked.

"Let's... not," Donovan said. "Taking a girl hostage is one thing, but when her clothes are out of sorts in a saucy kinda way, that's... let's just  _ not, _ okay?"

"Mm, point," Samina said, before screaming as the doors of the warehouse burst open.

"Ha _ ha,  _ you're too late, he-" Donovan got out, before realizing  _ who _ was standing there in the doorway. "Wait, what the fuck are  _ you _ shitheads doing here?"

"Heard some idiot indie Tinker was raiding our turf," Stormtiger said, as Hookwolf trundled to a halt and Cricket raised her sickles. "Get lost, before we kill you and your little girlfriend."

"Look, I'm not stealing anything, I'm just here to fight the heroes. You can bill me for whatever gets damaged," Donovan said.

"You told the heroes where this place was?" Stormtiger asked, lifting his claws and spreading his feet. "Well. Looks like you lost your headsta-"

"Battle mode orange," Donovan said, spurring the dozens of robots into action.

Some of the robots lept at the villains, their movements fluid and deft, dancing between defences, while others peppered the villains from all angles with lightning, plasma, and lasers. The fight- Donovan hesitated to call it that, with how one-sided it was- was over quickly, and the three villains were left groaning and insensate on the ground, scorched and battered.

"Alright, well, now to stash them somewh- oh  _ come on!" _ Donovan yelled as the motion sensors alerted him through his earpiece.  _ "More _ of them? Standby mode blue."

Fortunately for Donovan's poor, abused temper, the next people to arrive were in fact the heroes- more specifically, Miss Militia, Dauntless, Velocity, and Armsmaster, all on motorcycles. As the others dismounted, Armsmaster was already on his feet, examining the situation carefully.

"Velocity, help untie the girl," Armsmaster said. "You, Tinker- you did this?"

"I- well, yes-" Donovan began.

"Good work," Armsmaster said, nodding, as Velocity sped past Donovan and began slicing Samina free of her ropes and the chair with a pocket knife. "Have you considered joining the Protectorate, or maybe the Wards?"

"I, uh, turned 20 not too long ago, it'd be Protectorate, but no, I-"

"A shame, but I won't press the issue. Just be careful out there, okay?" Armsmaster said, hearing what he wanted to hear. "You did good work tonight. I'd hate to see a promising career like yours end so soon."

"You have a name yet?" Dauntless asked.

"Er, uh, Doctor Havoc," Donovan said. "I'm- the one who called you in, and-"

"You did the right thing, calling for backup," Miss Militia reasurred him. "We would've preferred you waited for us, but we understand things might've escalated, and you had to move quickly. What matters is the hostage is unhurt.  _ Are _ you okay, miss?"

"Um. Fine, yeah, just a little... out of sorts," Samina said as Velocity helped her out of the chair. "Can... I go home, now?"

"Of course, ma'am. We have more than enough evidence as it is to put these thugs away," Velocity said, nodding. "C'mon, let's get you home quick- never know when the next villain's gonna strike."

"My card, in case you change your mind," Armsmaster said, handing Donovan a silvery-blue card that matched Armsmaster's armor as everyone filed out of the warehouse. "Goodnight, Doctor."

"But-" Donovan said, as Armsmaster turned and left with the others. "...But I'm a villain," he said quietly.


	2. The Second Sally

"So. Last night was interesting," Samina said, sitting down next to Donovan in Brockton Bay Community College's cafeteria.

"Mhm," Donovan said, eating a turkey sandwich.

"Feel like maybe doing that again, but somewhere private?" she asked.

"I'd hate to have to clean up after the heroes busting down the door," he said, shaking his head.

Samina blinked, before sighing profoundly.

"I was thinking more of a...  _ practice run, _ you know?" Samina said. "Just you and me, getting tied up... and then we go from there."

"Ah, I see, I see," Donovan said, nodding. "I think that sounds like an  _ excellent _ idea, in fact."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Because I already have a new evil plan that'll be much harder for the heroes to shrug off," Donovan continued. "And more practice certainly can't hurt."

"...What."

"See, I'm going to take another hostage, but  _ this _ time it's going to be some official big-shot businessman or whatever, where being jerked around and having his time wasted is what he expects out of life, and also so that I have the plausible-ish motive of ransom," Donovan explained, grinning manically. "I even have a target in mind- Max Anders, the CEO of Medhall, one of the pharmaceutical companies that's headquartered in town for tax reasons. I've got an internship there, and I've been embezzling the  _ shit _ out of them for  _ months, _ so really, this is just making things formal. Besides, he  _ probably _ has plenty of doctors and drugs to help calm down afterwards. It'll be the perfect crime!"

"I'm... so happy for you, Donovan," Samina said, before sighing.

\---

"It is I, Doctor Havoc!" Donovan shouted, bursting into the meeting room through the door, as robot soldiers filed in. "Max Anders! Do not resist, for you will be held hostage for-"

One of the suits next to Max shot up and roundhouse kicked the meeting table into the air, nearly taking off Donovan's head, and putting a big hole in the wall.

_ "DAMAGE CONTROL BROWN!" _ Donovan all but screamed, drawing his energy pistol as the robots switched into battle mode, keeping careful track of who was an actual aggressor and who was merely a bystander. In the back of his mind, he raced through all the capes in Brockton Bay who could throw a table like that, ruling out the obvious ones- Glory Girl was a teenage girl, not a man in his early forties; Rune was  _ also _ a teenage girl; Skidmark was a blaxploitation caricature who crawled out of a TV used to play a cursed VHS tape of Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song; and Assault already had a full-time job as a government agent. That left Krieg.

A suspicion that confirmed itself further as Max Anders unveiled himself as Kaiser, sprouting a set of impractically spiky full plate armor as the robots tried peppering him with electrolasers. Donovan grimaced; he'd mostly packed the tasers for today, after having seen the injuries the plasma and hardlight guns inflicted on people, but the unfortunate thing about electricity is that it follows the path of least resistance, which in Kaiser's case was along and through his armor, leaving his actual flesh completely untouched.

Donovan sighed as he turned a dial on his energy pistol, and redirected the robots to shoot Krieg- who had no such protection from electricity- while he took aim with a kinetic blaster. Kaiser began to raise a shield wall of steel, but he wasn't fast enough, and found himself launched out of the window and into the twenty stories of air between the meeting room and the ground.

Donovan stepped up to the window to watch, and saw as, from the adjacent room, a table burst through the window with a young girl surfing on top of it. She quickly caught Kaiser before he could fall the full twenty stories, and started to lower the pair gently and safely to the ground. Donovan shook his head before shooting her with an electrolaser, letting them drop the remaining five stories uncontrolled before jumping out of the window after them, grateful all the while for his jetpack.

"You son of a bitch," Donovan muttered as he landed, approaching the moaning, insensate Kaiser. "You ruined  _ everything!" _ He kicked Kaiser in his unarmored side, provoking a loud yelp from the Nazi. "Get up! I'm not done hurting you yet!"

Of all the businessmen in Brockton Bay he could've tried to kidnap, he just  _ had _ to pick Kaiser, didn't he? And Kaiser didn't even have the decency to sandbag and hide the fact that he was Kaiser! This whole mess could've been resolved  _ much _ more easily and painlessly, if only the Nazi hadn't been an impulsively violent moron who didn't understand long-term consequences.

Donovan looked up from his fallen foe as Armsmaster pulled up on his bike, a PRT van hot on his heels. "Doctor Havoc- I got your message, and came as soon as I could," Armsmaster said, killing the engine. "I see you've taken down some more of Empire 88. How'd you know it was Kaiser?"

"I-" Donovan began.

"Nevermind, it's not important," Armsmaster said, shaking his head as PRT officers poured out of the van and began handcuffing Kaiser and Rune. "I'm just glad we can put him behind bars. You're a damn fine hero, Doctor Havoc."

"I threw an unarmed man through a twentieth story window," Donovan protested.

"You threw  _ Kaiser _ through a twentieth story window," Armsmaster said. "I've been doing this job for years. I understand the pressures you have to deal with."

"I- th-  _ I'm a villain, damnit!" _ Donovan yelled, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I assure you, just because you broke a few silly little laws in pursuit of real justice doesn't make you  _ not _ a hero," Armsmaster said. "After you took down Kaiser like this? There's nobody in the city who won't believe you're on the side of the angels."

Donovan was taken aback by this, as he realized with horror that  _ Armsmaster was right. _ There simply wasn't any way to spin this as a villainous action.

"...You have this from here?" Donovan asked, weakly. "I... need to go home, and think about some things."

"Of course," Armsmaster said. "It's always a shock to learn that such a prominent member of the community turned out to have been awful all along."

Donovan, ignoring Armsmaster, fired up his jetpack, and took off. He had plans to make.


	3. The Third Sally

"Okay, so, the last two times didn't work,  _ but!  _ This time, I have a trick up my sleeve!" Donovan declared as he paced in Samina's bedroom, completely ignoring her suggestive, inviting pose on the bed, or her new outfit. "See, in the aftermath of the Medhall disaster, I managed to make off with most of their money-"

"Wait,  _ what?" _ Samina asked. "I thought your supervillain stuff was just wanting to fight heroes!"

"Didn't I already tell you I've been embezzling for months?" Donovan asked. "Besides, all those automatons and jetpacks and laser pistols don't just  _ fall off the back of a truck. _ No. I built them, with tools and materials that I obtained through illegitimate means. I just didn't get  _ caught. _ Now! Moving on, now that I've robbed Medhall blind and am personally richer than God, I have an idea to  _ use _ that money to make my supervillainy obvious and undeniable!"

"You're gonna make me ask, aren't you?" Samina asked, sighing.

"I'm going to build a big honkin' mad science castle,  _ right _ in the middle of downtown, where the Medhall building currently is!" Donovan declared. "And I'm gonna kidnap the owner of a construction company to make him do it for free! Muhuhahahaha!"

Samina's downstairs neighbor banged on their ceiling with the end of a broom, and Donovan cleared his throat sheepishly.

\---

"Thank you for meeting with me," Donovan said, sitting down in front of the desk. "I ran something of a background check- I hope you don't mind confirming or denying a few details, just to make sure we're on the same page?"

"Not at all, go ahead," the owner of the construction company said.

"You're a veteran of the PRT, correct?" Samina asked, reading from a clipboard as she stood behind Donovan. She had put on a short skirt and a tight blouse earlier, and Donovan had been thrilled at her ingenuity, praising the idea of her posing as his secretary for the upcoming meeting.

"That is correct, yes," he said, nodding.

"And after your discharge, you've gone into the construction of Endbringer shelters on government contracts for public benefit?" Samina continued.

"Of course, of course," he said. "You know, I'd originally wanted to name the company Bunker Builders, for the alliteration, but my marketer told me no. We're  _ Citadel _ Construction, which is nice and dignified, and still maintains the alliteration."

"And... You sometimes provide consultation services for the local PRT?"

"Indeed. I've got a nice mix of an insider's  _ and _ outsider's perspective, that the local Deputy Director often finds valuable."

"I must say, Mr. Calvert," Donovan said. "You've got quite the impressive resume. Downright heroic, one might say."

"I try my best," Thomas Calvert said, nodding.

"Which is why I'm kidnapping you to prove just how dastardly of a supervillain I am," Donovan said, pulling his gun and leveling it with Calvert's head.

"...I see," Calvert said, steepling his fingers. "And... I take it you're Doctor Havoc, who gutted Empire 88 last week?"

"The one and the same," Donovan said, nodding. "Do you have  _ any _ idea how annoying it was, trying to kidnap a businessman and it turns out he's a Nazi supervillain, and so you end up just looking like a hero?"

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid I'm  _ also _ a supervillain," Calvert said.

"...No," Donovan said.

"I'm afraid so," Calvert said, nodding gravely. "If you kidnap me, then you'll simply free my treacherous assistant, who I myself kidnapped, to spread the word about how I'm actually the supervillain Coil. And your gambit to be recognized as a villain will be all for n-" Donovan pulled out a small black box with a big red button on it, and pressed the button forcefully. "What in the-"

"Power blocker," Donovan interrupted. "Whatever your power is, it's gone for the next five minutes."

"I- th-" Calvert swallowed nervously. "Surely we can come to  _ some _ sort of agr- urk!"

Donovan had vaulted the desk, tacking Calvert out of his chair and onto the floor, his hands wrapped tightly around Calvert's throat.

"I'm getting real fucking sick of this shit," Donovan growled, staring Calvert right in the eyes as he choked the life out of the poor bastard. "If I can't get recognition from taking you alive, then I'll  _ take _ my recognition from you,  _ dead!" _

Calvert struggled, trying to throw Donovan off, but years of not keeping up with his exercise being pitted against a young man in his prime wearing a suit of low-profile power armor under his clothes left him struggling in vain.

Slowly, desperately, over long minutes, the fight left him. The light left his eyes. His heart stopped.

And Thomas Calvert was dead.

\---

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me," Donovan whispered, dragging Calvert's corpse behind him as he exited the Citadel Construction office building.

"Doctor!" Armsmaster said happily. "Don't worry, Tattletale explained everything." Beside Armsmaster, a young blonde girl with a domino mask and a richly-decorated jumpsuit grinned and waved.

"I killed a man," Donovan said, hefting the corpse of the man he'd just murdered.

"We know," Armsmaster said, suddenly somber. "You did what you had to do."

"No I didn't, I didn't  _ have _ to kill him-"

"Young man, this self-recrimination is unbecoming of you," Armsmaster said sternly. "Yes, technically, there  _ was _ another option. But we all do the best we can in the moment with the information we have. You did the right thing.  _ You're a hero." _

Donovan staggered a bit, before collapsing onto his ass, head in his hands between his knees as silent sobs wracked his body.

"Let me handle this, Robocop," Tattletale said as she approached, squatting down on the sidewalk beside him and whispering into his ear. "Yeah, I told 'em," she whispered. "I'm not gonna apologize, and if you decide to take your vengeance anyway, well. You've seen how the heroes react to extreme violence against villains, haven't you?"

"But-" Donovan began.

"You think they actually  _ care _ about justice?" Tattletale asked. "About truth? No. They just wanna hurt people and feel good about it, and since I was technically a villain,  _ that makes me fair game. _ So if you wanna hurt me, go ahead. Just know that it's only gonna make it even harder for you to get what you want."

"...You  _ bitch," _ Donovan whispered.

"Guilty as charged," Tattletale admitted, before standing up. "Good talk, Doc. I hope you've learned something today. And good luck on the construction project!"


	4. The Fourth Sally

"The castle is nice," Samina said, luxuriating in the king-sized four-poster bed she'd somehow managed to tie herself to, spread-eagle. " _ Much _ better than my old apartment building. Maybe you'd feel better if you stopped pacing for a few minutes, and enjoyed it with me?"

"What's  _ that _ supposed to mean?" Donovan asked, pacing across the bedroom floor, before stopping and looking at her. "...Oh. I see."

"Mhm."

"Well, I'm afraid I've moved on from kidnapping schemes; I don't need any more practice tying people up," Donovan said, resuming his pacing. "This castle construction project has been distracting me long enough. I talked to Tattletale; if I'm going to be serious about this villain thing, I need to go public with it. No more saturday morning cartoon bullshit. This is  _ real _ , now. We're doing  _ organized crime." _

"Uh," Samina said, uneasily.

"Samina, darling," Donovan said. "You watched me kill a man. With my  _ bare hands. _ Have you  _ forgotten _ that I am a supervillain? Have you  _ forgotten _ that all my riches are ill-gotten?  _ Have you forgotten who I am?" _ He breathed heavily, before bringing his voice back down. "I told you who I was, at the very beginning. It's hardly  _ my _ fault if you've forgotten. At any rate, I'm not running any of the  _ especially _ heinous ones. A gambling ring here, prostitution ring there. Maybe a bit of weed on the side. More importantly, though, I'll be operating them  _ openly, _ right inside this very castle! Heroes will  _ flock _ to me to shut down my empire of crime! It'll be  _ glorious! _ Now, do you still have that friend of yours who does sex work on the side? I have a job for her, and all of her colleagues..."

\---

"Marvelous," Donovan muttered from a balcony overlooking the multi-floored foyer that constituted the main body of the casino. "This place is  _ packed. _ Absolutely full to the  _ brim _ with people who couldn't keep a secret if their lives depended on it. One of these days, the heroes are going to come rushing in to put a stop to it. A _ ha!" _

"Oh?" Samina asked, looking up from her phone. She'd dolled herself up with the help of a few cosmetology-minded automatons, and been sewn into a tight-fitting, half-sheer cocktail dress, and then proceeded to spend the past half hour being studiously ignored by the man she now lived with.

"My agents have spotted Lady Photon and Manpower of New Wave sneaking in through an employees-only back entrance, in plainclothes!" Donovan said, staring at his watch. "Bring them to me, my minions. Tell them the owner of this place will speak to them." The watch chirped in acknowledgement, and he grinned, rubbing his hands together eagerly. "Ohhhh, this is so  _ exciting.  _ Finally, a confrontation with the heroes!"

Samina harbored her doubts, but kept them to herself, and instead returned her attention to her phone, waiting for the heroes to arrive.

"So," Donovan said as Lady Photon and Manpower were ushered into the balcony, swirling his drink in his hand as he looked out at the main floor, his back to them. "You've come to investigate the new den of sin, have you? Sneaking in through the back door like teenagers trying to get into a nightclub... Well, heroes, let me save you some time. Yes, this place is  _ exactly _ what you think it is. Yes, I run gambling and prostitution rings in here. Doctor Havoc's Mad Science Emp-whore-ium is exactly what it says on the label." He turned to face them, and was surprised to see them both grinning.

_ "Perfect," _ Manpower said.

"Sorry about the sneaking in, we... couldn't let ourselves be seen coming in the front entrance," Lady Photon said. "PR reasons and all. We'd like to keep it discrete. Would you mind doing us another favor and letting us order a room and some, ahem,  _ room service _ from here, minimize the time we spend in the public areas?"

"...You're not here to shut this place down?" Donovan asked.

"Why would we?" Manpower asked. "This place looks amazing. This town hasn't had  _ anything _ to do in it for  _ years, _ since the  _ last _ big casino closed. There's still some smaller ones open, but they're just not the same, you know?"

"The old guard casinos and brothels shut down for economic reasons, not legal ones," Lady Photon added.

"Old guard?" Donovan asked.

"Yeah, see... Back after World War 2, the beach tourism was down because everyone had air conditioning and swimming pools, you know? And then to boost the shrinking tourism industry, in 1976, Brockton Bay legalized gambling and prostitution, to try and become a sorta... Las Vegas but on the east coast, y'know?" Manpower explained. "But it kinda didn't work, and now those laws are still on the books, but haven't really been used much in decades. Until now."

"Thanks for revitalizing the community," Lady Photon said. "You're a real-"

"Don't finish that sentence," Donovan said.

"...Alright then," Lady Photon said.

"Anyhow," Manpower said. "Is that all you wanted to talk about? Cause if not, I'd like to go get tied up and spitroasted by a pair of twinks."

"And I'd like to watch!"

"I- no. No, that's... that's all," Donovan said quietly. "...Have fun, you two."

They left, and closed the door to the balcony behind them, leaving Donovan and Samina alone.

"They seemed pretty happy," Samina said, leaning forward and drawing her arms together and forward. "Maybe they had the right idea?"

"I am  _ not _ a fucking  _ hero!" _ Donovan yelled, pitching his drink against the hardwood door, shattering the glass. "Cleanup on the balcony," he grumbled into his watch as he stomped through the broken glass, the shards crunching under his boots as he left, slamming the door behind himself.

Samina sighed, closing her eyes.


	5. The Final Sally

"Donovan, please-"

"The universe is  _ fucking _ conspiring against me!" Donovan yelled, his habitual pacing having been upgraded to storming. "Every  _ fucking _ time I try to be a villain, what do I get? Some convenient justification pulled  _ straight _ out of the universe's asshole for why, oh, whoopsie daisy! Donnie boy is the  _ good guy! _ I've fucking  _ had it _ with this shit!"

"Donovan, you're being ridiculous," Samina pleaded.

"No,  _ ridiculous _ is me accidentally picking a warehouse that's already being used by organized crime," Donovan said. "Ridiculous is me following that up by  _ accidentally _ kidnapping the crimelord who ran that whole show! Ridiculous is me following  _ that _ up by accidentally stumbling upon and uncovering a city-spanning conspiracy led by a wannabe Bond Villain!  _ Ridiculous is the city I was born and raised in  _ spontaneously _ and _ retroactively _ happening to have  _ already legalized _ prostitution and gambling!" _ Donovan let loose a wordless scream. "I'm fucking- goddamned- ARGH!"

"Be that as it may-" Samina said.

"No, no, I'll fucking  _ prove _ it to you," Donovan muttered, turning on his heel and approaching her. "I'm a mad scientist, yeah? Let's do a little  _ science experiment." _ He grabbed her by the underside of her jaw, leaning in close, his hot breath drawing blood into her face and dilating her pupils. "I am going to kill the greatest hero this world has ever known. And then I'm going to come home, we're going to eat dinner together, I'm going to complain about the inconvenience of owning such a big house and having to live in what is essentially the attic, because my unreasonably profitable casino and whorehouse take up the rest of it, and then we're going to turn on the news. And when we do, we're going to see me being hailed as a hero, because the world's greatest hero will turn out retroactively to have been a horrifying monster who planned to kill us all. And when that happens, you will know, that  _ I was right, _ and you were wrong.

"Do I make myself understood?"

Samina nodded slightly. "Y-yes sir."

"Good girl," he said, provoking a moan from her as he let go of her face, letting her drop to the floor. "I should only be a little while, but don't wait up for me if it takes longer."

He opened up the door to their penthouse suite, and left. And Samina realized she was alone again.

\---

"Alright, well, I'm out of things to talk about," Donovan said, setting his dirty plate in the sink. "You?"

Samina bit her lower lip, before shaking her head. "No, no."

"Well then, let's turn on the evening news, shall we?" Donovan asked, heading for the living room and flopping onto the couch.

The TV flickered on, and the first thing they saw was Alexandria, talking directly into a news camera.

"-in fact, Scion's death has more implications than you might think," Alexandria said. "You see, the upper echelons of the Protectorate have known for certain, from the beginning, that yes, Scion really was the source of superpowers and parahumans. And yes, he was in fact an alien. Scion's motivation for handing out these powers to us was to learn from us, to see what we would do with them. He wasn't doing this benevolently, however. Once he had all the information he needed from us, his plan was to take back all of the powers he handed out, and then consume the Earth for fuel and materials before heading off to the next planet. This would, invariably, involve killing us- all of us."

Samina glanced at Donovan, worry writ large across her features, as he took a long pull from a bottle of beer.

"Every last man, woman, and child on earth. By killing Scion before that could happen, Doctor Havoc saved us all, cementing forever his position as the greatest hero we've ever-"

Donovan pitched the beer bottle through the TV screen, shattering both and releasing a cloud of electronic smoke.

"Donovan, I-" Samina began as he stood and walked towards the door.

"I'm out," he said. "I'm  _ OUT." _

"Donovan, please!" Samina pleaded.  _ "Why _ do you need to be a villain? Just give it up, and live like a king for the rest of your life! You've won the  _ lottery _ , here, and you're  _ really _ prepared to throw it all away just because it didn't happen exactly the way you wanted it to?"

He stopped at the front door, hand wrapped around the knob. He tilted his head, every which way in turn, before finally letting it fall.

"Yeah, I am," he said finally, opening the door and leaving. "Bye."


End file.
